The power to make every female cop want you... IN JAIL.

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the power to stub your toe while gardening and only cry for twenty minutes.

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The power to control Rollie pollies

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The power to talk to animals but only as they are attacking you

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The power to attract cats but be allergic to them

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The power to do anything that will not affect anyone but you in any way.

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the power to misspell

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Perfect recall of every episode of Teletubies

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The power to give Japanese cartoons seizures.

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The power to get hard at will.

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the ability to turn into the body of a car. Just the body, no engine, no wheels, nothin, just the body

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Will i tell you the joke about the butter? Aww no you'll only spread it!

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The power to yell WOW THOSE ARE SOME GIANT MELONS LADY! And have her blush and giggle, as your girlfriend grabs you and kisses you, just to make sure to "balloon lady" that you are not on the free market. Moral: And you think I act unusual here... Hah! That is simply because you lack the ability to love... the most important person in your life, the one that will take care of your beloved ones, the one that will inspire his friends... Yourself... sadly we are in a time period where being a modest emo is in... Well, I am out! Out there, being free!

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The power to live,but only when you are dead

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The power to have a unique fart smell

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The ability to guess the reCAPTCHA words first try

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the power to uncontrollably say but I love you, when you're breaking up with someone

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The power of telepathy but only when you alone

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The power to turn acute triangles into equilateral triangles.

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the power to make food disappear in your mouth only when your mouth is not closed.

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The power to light glue on fire.

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the power to turn into nothing.

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the power to turn into toilet paper but not back

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The ability to fart and pee twice in one go.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!