- Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!

the power to persuade every 80 yo into penetrating you analy

The ability to scream and whisper at the same time.

The power to make really bad jokes: knock knock who's there chicken chicken who no thats an owl not a chicken, you goose!

The power to give yourself Kidney stones.

The power to vomit through your anus.

The power to do a wheelie on a unicycle.

The power to see into the future of the past

The power to create shit

The power to think salmon.

?u?op ?p?sdn ?d?? o? ???od ???

The power to to think less

The power to hear a dog whistle

The power to hear other people's thoughts when they aren't thinking.

The ability to see through blind peoples eyes

The power to throw crazed badgers 3% faster than the average human. However, you would have to find the badgers, and they would have to be angry. The power does not affect your aim, only your speed.

The power to walk thru mud and not leave a footprint

The ability to spit in random obscure crayola colors.

The power to have explosive diarrhea after eating Chipotle

The power to vote for Donald trump as president

The power to fly when you fart

The power to summon tastebuds in your asshole, but cannot be undone within 24 hours.

the power to buy something worth 1.95$ when you only have 1.94$

The power to fall down in a forest, and, if none is around, noone will hear you.

The power to determine after 1 year that something is broken when you yourself have done it deliberately broken

Pointless Super Powers