The power to shoot sperm out of your eyes

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The power to expel a single spaghetti from any limb randomly

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The power to summon Wolverine, but only so he can give you a colonoscopy.

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Moral man. Moral: I have self irony... which isn't a superpower... neither is being me... But its at least Super pointless and I have the power to do this... SO CLOSE! SO DAMN CLOSE! :(

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The ability to read braile.

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The power to peel a banana with your foreskin

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The power to re-click a webpage over and over as long as it won't load

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The power to hurt your enemies but feel their pain

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Crap out everything you're allergic too

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The power to live.

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The power to shoot your teeth at the force of a Nerf gun.

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The Superpower to copy the Superpower of any other Super Hero... *hayball rolls*

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The ability to teleport 0.00000000000000007 seconds in the past

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the power to speak bulagrian for 28 sec every 37 day

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The power to hear people from across the globe, make people move with your own mind, and the ability to make people disappear from the Earth. Ladies and Gentleman, I call it MMORPG!

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The power to see your neck without a mirror

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the power to make an earthquake that an ant can not even feel

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The power to be an exceedingly homosexual man and be constantly surrounded by sexy women.

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The power to never run out of toilet paper when going to the bathroom

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The power to grow your own armpit hair at a rate of 1 ft/day, and change its color at will.

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The power to make cats ask for cheeseburgers in comically broken English

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The power to decrease the number of thumbs up by how long the joke was written.

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The power to magically create a shampoo bottle in your hands but only when you're on the toilet

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The power to be immortal, but only on 29th February.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!