The power to make poorly drawn art in less time than it takes to blink.

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Being alive (until you die).

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The power to fell pain 3 minutes after it happens.

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The power to vomit a thoroughly blended mix of pickles, cheese, onions, caramel, lead paint, octopi, boiling water, vinyl, super glue, hot sulfur froth, and hand sanitizer.

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The ability to have all of the money in the world, but then have to share it with everybody in the world.

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The power to have everyone in the universe believe you are dead. Including you.

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The power to fart slightly less deadly

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Taekwondo

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Oye sun teri ma ka saki na ka

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The power to get extreme orgasms random, often in very awkward situations.

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the power to hear everything in sign language and see everything in braille

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The power to know when an item of food has been cooked to perfection, 38 seconds after it has caught fire.

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to travel in time....2 minutes in the past exactly after..masturbation.... masturbation-time-loop...........

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the power to have diarrhea at any time

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The power to not see ads

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the power to control urine

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The ability to fly at will but only if you are zoned out

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The ability to money into dog shit.

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The power to incriminate yourself in a crime you didnt commit

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the power to twerk as good as miley cyrus

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The power to always know what the time is, but not without a clock

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The ability to turn bread into really burnt toast while no one is watching.

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The ablility to think of the worst racial slurs, but only when a member of that race is nearby.

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the power to eat only one lays potato chip

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!