The power to speak parseltongue except when you're around snakes.

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The ability to be bulletproof after you get shot.

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The ability to kick in a three point shot but only during a game.

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The power to telekinetically pick your nose and eat it.

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the ability to write using your 'inside' voice but only once your vocal cords are compromised

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The power to not have powers that arent pointless but then you realize your a normal human bein then you just think hey mabey I can be like Batman but then also you were like hey why am I not a multi-billionaire . After this all you find out you have the power to wake up at 12 pm only while using a alarm clock set for 7 am

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The ability to fly but, if you use it, birds start flocking around you and shitting on you.

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Power to freeze your self in time but everyone else can move, but you cant

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The power to lose your genitals when you masturbate or have sex

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The power to do anything as if you were god but only after you slay a mythical dragon and eat an Unicorn's poop.

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The power to paint with all the colors of the wind!

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The ability to dislike on any form of social media, but only if you are looking cross-eyed at your pinky finger while listening to a mashup of Justin Beiber and One Direction.

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The power to touch MC Hammer.

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The power to do anything you don't want to do.

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The power to speed up time for only 1 Planck Instant every hour.

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The power to look at yourself in third person

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The power to teleport 10 years into the past just by sneezing. You also become hyper allergic to everything. And of course, you have no way to travel forward...

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The power to enter into a Coalition with the Conservative Party

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The power to consume extrement and expire. Nero: This is simply my seal of quality.

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The power to repel women.

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the power to make plants grow at a slightly excelled rate when lying on top of them .... you also smell like shit, all the time.

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The power to not exist.

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The power to walk on very very shallow water (

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The Power to smell a Fart before it actually comes out. -scratchy

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!