the power to be .13 cents short on every purchase you try to make.

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the power to evenly cook a hot pocket.

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The ability to kick in a three point shot but only during a game.

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The power to instantly ressurect at the very same spot if you get submerged under lava or acid.

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The power to empty your bladder without going to the restroom but only when you really have to poop and it is trying to force its way out.

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Clairvoyance, but only when your mothers having intimacy with your dad.

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The ability to turn door knobs with your feet every other even day.

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The power to explode by yelling ALLAH FORGIVE MEEEEEEEEEE! (Bonus: you always appear on Al Jazeera when you blow yourself up)

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The power to troll.

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The Power of being Friendzoned

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The power to generate lottery numbers which don't win

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The ability to talk to snakes but only if you have a lightning bolt scar on your forehead.

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The power to run as fast as a cheetah! Moral: A dead cheetah...

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the ability to make a banana talk uncontrollably to itself but only when people around it are high. the ability to make a banana momentarily stop talking. the ability to allow a banana to sing uncontrollably songs strictly about being a banana, previously sung by a mammal. the ability to write funny things but only about banana(s).

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Gas station quality laser pointer vision.

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The power to get the most rated pointless superpowers post

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The power to transform into a 37 year old World of Warcraft playing virgin

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the power to travel through in time, but only you when you are sleeping.

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The power to have a normal sized torso, but short legs.

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The power to bleed out of your nose all the tme.

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The power to be bad at everything

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The power to jump 1 centimeter higher than you usually can

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the power to be a fury............-_-

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The power to eavesdrop on your best friend from anywhere in the world when he's sleeping.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!