The ablity to slap a policeman and get away with it.

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The power to close your nose

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The power to turn into shit, but not be able to change back.

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The power to look at Chuck Norris. I dare you to try.

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The Power To Explode Only When You Are In Underwater And Not In The Earth's Atmosphere And In A Room Made Of Diamond

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I HAVE A TINY PINGAS! (Penis) Moral: Ladyfriend here daring me to post this here, PFF! Is that even a dare? I got balls of steel! Oh, and I should totally ask my doctor if she can give me something that helps me unwind after multiple female company, or at least they are daring me all to type that pff! Im not even good looking... And noooooo, nobody dared me to type that, they want todeeeeeeeeeellllllllteeeeeeeeee tht BUTI SHALLOOOWWWWWWINSSSSSSSS

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The power to mentally unlock any lock you can see, but only if the key is within 10 feet of where you are.

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The power to put on a sweater when u already have one on when its 90 degrees outside but can only do it outside

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The ability to scream and whisper at the same time.

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The power to kill a manin just 30 years a spoon

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The power to control all bleach within one-hundred feet.

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The power to find the last piece of a jigsaw puzzle

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?u?op ?p?sdn ?d?? o? ???od ???

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The ability to turn 100$ bills into toilet paper.

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The power to abstain from sex until you're married. At age 83.

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The power to hear other people's thoughts when they aren't thinking.

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The power to see through air.

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The ability to sense any and all ham in a five mile radius.

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The ability to talk to and have a conversation with boxes

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The power to have your veins be a 1% lighter shade of blue.

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The ability to hear people's thoughts after they've already said them.

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The power to go suicide

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The power to spontaneously break into song only during absolutely tragic moments.

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The power to piss out of your ass and shit through your dick

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!