The power to be an ugly barnacle who is so ugly that everyone dies.

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The power to read the future in a language you will never learn to understand. Moral: I read that "thy comment expects a billion red thumbs"... WTF does that mean?

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The ability to understand everything about a language after 100 years of intense studying when you could be doing something more interesting.

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The power to use your dick/tits as your cellphone at any time.

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The power to turn everything you touch into cheese

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The power to get an A+ on every test- but you need to study for 5 hours or so ahead of time

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The ability when standing still you hover 1milimeter

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The power to obey gravity

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The power to make muffins appear out of nowhere.

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The power to sing wonderfully but at a pitch only dogs can hear

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The ability to read people's thoughts but only in a language that you do not understand.

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The ability to self destruct at will.

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The power to drink and drive without being caught

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The power to block your own powers

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The power to recite all of Encyclopedia Brown's cases in alphabetical order.

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the power to jump like a black guy.

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The power grow arm pit hair 5 times faster and 5 times longer than it was after shaving.

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The power to heal but every time you heal your leg or arm falls off.

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the power to run at the speed of light, but you have no protection from the air friction so you'll burn up and die.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!