The ability to cure someone of HIV, but you contract it yourself.

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The power to wipe your ass once, and only once.

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The power to hit someone at the cost of your own life

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The power to infinitely generate cardboard

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The power to burn ashes

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The SuperPower To Have No SuperPowers

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the power to evenly cook a hot pocket.

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The power to kill yourself when you are dead.

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The power to be AMAZING in bed, but only when you're having sex with a midget over the age of 40.

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the power to think like a sumo wrestler between 2:30 and 3:30 am on thursdays

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The power to be HUMAN

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[insert pointless super powers here]

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The power of asdfgh

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The power to walk on your butt cheeks

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The power to become invisible, but it only works when you are using it for noble and moral purposes.

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MARIAN PRICE ISN'T DEAD BUT SOME SAY SHE'S DEAD INSIDE

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Feeling people's depression.

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the power to make sillet bang remove stains from shirts

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the power to shoot superman

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the power to see through clothes in a gay bar.

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The power to explode the entire world every time you became happy.

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the power to start a new wave band with a neon Open sign, a single bath salt, and a wet Tibetan ritz cracker.

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The power to put out light from your butt

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The power to grow increasingly warm fur as your body temperature rises.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!