The power to shoot milk through your eyes

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The power to talk to your socks but only when they're dying...

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the ability to see into the past

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the power to orgasm more than once in one round of sex. the thing is, after the 4th time, it gets slightly uncomfortable.

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the power to fart in 7 different colors

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The power to touch anything that is touchable.

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The power to sweat blood uncontrollably out of your anus while singing to Justin Beiber and stabbing yourself in the dick with a machete

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To sumon a cheeto named bill every time you say cow.

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the power to turn star wars figurines into sticky notes, only on sunday afternoons

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the power to waste time doing stupid stuff like reading this.

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The power to be invincible to every thing but fire water tornadoes bullets explosions guns knifes blades swords grenades sticks pointy objects disease infections sicknesses flu illness natural disasters accidents vehicles trucks electricity meteors bombs rockets drug addiction peer pressure starvation tiredness torture pain monkeys radiation

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The power to hear everything in pig-Latin.

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The power to possess every pointless superpower and be tasked with saving the world.

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The power to suck deez nuts

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the ability to kill people with your mind as long as they are dead

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To summon a duct tape PEICE for 3 seconds then disappears but you can only do it each century

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the power to never laugh at funny things but laugh nonstop at all other times

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the power to transform into biggie smalls after he just died

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The ability to pee freshly-made Japanese rice noodles.

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The ability to kill oxygen in a radius around you

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The power to have one eyebrow!?

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The power to make doors disappear at will.

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The power turn a $100 bill Into a single $1 bill

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The power to speak brail.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!