The man who isn't afraid of sharks. Not even a little.

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The power to turn your external hearing off, only to replace it with the sound of very, very slow internal dubstep.

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the power to have 0.0000000001+ critical chance when you hit a brony

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The power to attract cats but be allergic to them

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The power to not move or do anything.... at all

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The power to cure cancer, in people already dead.

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the power to change the size of your thumb when ever you want

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The power to have super strength, however when you use it you instantly become paralyzed.

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The Power of being Friendzoned

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The power to generate lottery numbers which don't win

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The ability to go poop and pee.

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The power to live through torture.

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The power to have a strong bladder for 5 minutes following urination.

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The power to get the most rated pointless superpowers post

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The power to die uncontrollably and never come back or do anything else.

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The power to be bad at everything

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the power to recognize "woman rights".

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the power to remember th...

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The power to be Sexually Molested And Raped Twice and be smart at the same time.

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The power to make condoms out of pizza dough.

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the power... to read this

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To sumon a cheeto named bill every time you say cow.

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The ability to teleport, but only into solid stone.

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The power to be able to eat food without its taste.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!