The power to go into the future. Only by 1 second.

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The powers to have super speed when you can't run anymore.

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The power to think out loud without saying a word

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Just because you do not see and advert here, it does not mean it is not here... Moral: Dudu duduh dudududun... ALWAYS MORAL-COLA! (aka Moke in the brits) NOW IN LIGHT AND SUPERFAT EDITIONS! Order now for the special I am fagneto edition! TASTE THE FAGNETIC! Because if gay is your way, todays morals, support this way! Lesbian-Coke is out of stock, but pre-order now and receive a moral man offer: "the lesbian drunk party invite international live!" *porn music* Hurry up! Only 2 Billion tickets left! No wait... just 50 left!... no wait... 40... no 30... 29... you better hurry ladies! As much *free* booze you can drink! *The booze Is free, the entrance is free, but the payment to get out of the building depends on how much you drink, non payers will be graped and their sex pictures will be sold on the internet* *All lesbian sex pictures will be sold on the internet, grape is not allowed! Surprise sexy time is allowed though!* Moral-Cola!

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The ability to lose Russian rolette, once.

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the power to not have a power

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The power to have a second brain, but it has the IQ of a rock.

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MARIAN PRICE ISN'T DEAD BUT SOME SAY SHE'S DEAD INSIDE

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the ability to only do pointless things.

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An ability to exist without any food but only after you eat some food.

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the power to troll people that are dead

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The power to harvest the cheese off your wiener.

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Eht rewop ot epyt sdrawkcab dna kaeps ti yltneulf ekilnu eht yug ohw tog no eht tsrif egap.

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The power to sing beautifully but only when around def people.

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the power to reseal bottle caps

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A book on how to solve a paradix

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The ability to create a chicken egg, once and then never again.

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The power to orgasm every five.. UGGHOOOAAHAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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The power to have a normal sized torso, but short legs.

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The power to laugh at Tyler Perry's House of Payne

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the ability to fail lie detector tests.... consistently.

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The power to see through the clothes of only the morbidly obese.

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The ability to eat Oreos and not have diarrhea after.

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The ability to cry shampoo at will. But it still stings.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!