The power to have sex with jessica alba Only if you have Sex with Rosie O'Donnell with a ten inch penis

thumb_up thumb_down +101

The power to light things on fire with a match

thumb_up thumb_down +83

The power to jump 100 feet in the air, but only while you're in a building

thumb_up thumb_down -27

The power to do ANY FREAKING THING YOU WANT, but only when your dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

The power... to move you.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

My charms is my superpower, but damn I cant shut up after spending some quality time with the ladies! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! MY BODY WAS NOT READY! I feel like yelling out my real name, but you know, if you know me (I am easily recognizable) the girls I spend time with would feel like I am bragging about them, and I am not, I am simply celebrating my conquest, you see, you came, you saw... BUT I CONQUERED! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT Moral: Feel free to thumb this down, my superpowers need to be contained, or else I will beep my way to an early grave! Girls, mwah... and you know, just dodge the kiss if you cant handle love personified, they arent homing nor anything... Should I ask my doctor if she has any medications that will help me wire down after uh... Multiple female company? HAHAHAHAAAAAAH!... The thought made me kinda sad, im better, now just to prove to my company here that I got balls of steel, I am gonna post this and let you judge me all you want! BECAUSE YOU CANT HAVE EM!

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Dust-mite communication. Attack my army of microscopic and fairly harmless beasts!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

DE POWER TO SPELL WRIGHT LOL LAOM FOTOSINSISES

thumb_up thumb_down +14

The power to hear yourself on recording and not think you sound weird

thumb_up thumb_down -2

The power to know what card is on top of a deck, but only when it's an 8 of diamonds.

thumb_up thumb_down -102

The ability to move your own internal organs, causing extruciating pain

thumb_up thumb_down +63

The power to change the colour of your internal organs.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

The ability to speak any language, but only to people who do not understand said language you speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

power to type using my head.. .because my fingers are there

thumb_up thumb_down -65

The power to read the bible, and then learn hypnosis, and look at the bible again... Moral: And they say hypnosis is worthless because it is just suggestions... the bible uses EVERY single trick in the book, and the bible`s teaching lead to the "holy" crusades (of kill murder and rape across the world, too many died to count), the bigotry, greater intolerance to different people, and just now (Bush before him) Obama is assuring his people that this war is "GODS WILL!" And seriously, if darkness is considered evil... then no wonder Captain America and his men did not hesitate to kill and enslave Captain Africa and his people a couple years ago... And its still going on, thanks lord (sarcasm, duh) Suggestion: Most powerful force in the universe, and it is invisible to boot... daaaang im powerful.

thumb_up thumb_down -99

the power to masturbate just one time a day

thumb_up thumb_down +118

The power to make it so legions of turtles submerge from the world seas in order to fight for the death in your name to save your ass whenever you are in trouble. Moral: Uh thanks for coming turtles... yeah I remember when I needed you 20 years ago... But thanks really...

thumb_up thumb_down -26

The power to go blind but you cant go back to seeing everything

thumb_up thumb_down -76

The power to generate fecal matter when being held at gunpoint.

thumb_up thumb_down -122

The power to be quite good at checkers.

thumb_up thumb_down +73

invinsibility to everything except for thing that hurt or kill you....

thumb_up thumb_down +65

The power to sing like Rebecca Black.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

The power to eat food

thumb_up thumb_down -39

The power to always be the next best fighter in any 1vs1 fight to the death. MORAL: KOMBAT!

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!