the power to ejaculate lava.

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The Power to make people see a picture of you naked in their heads.

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The power to give ANY girl the best orgasm she will ever have, but only when in Vatnajökulsþjóðgarður, Iceland. Between the local time of 3am-3:15am.

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The ability to see through shallow water.

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LIME

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the power to sizzle like bacon

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The power to grow boobs

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Laser pointer vision.

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The power to start laughing uncontrollably when someone says the word "ferret"

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The power to make people laugh telling german jokes.

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The power to cut onion without crying.

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The power to remove the pubic hair of career politicians during their first stump speech of a campaign and return it to them during their concession or acceptance speech.

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The power to turn on the TV with the remote

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The power to tell if a politician is lying. (They always are.)

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The power to transform you in something randomly

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power to be heard only when there are ideas worth listening to

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The power to fly but only when touching the ground

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Invisible handwriting.

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The power to die uncontrollably and never come back or do anything else.

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The power to walk after gettin kicked in the nuts

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the power to steal 4 avocados in july at a supermarket at 9:37 am in your underpants without arms while a cop laughs at how stupid you look. plus while you do that a cute marshmallow comes and rapes your children.

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The power to be Emperor of farmville but only in a full eclipse

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The power to read

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the power to change the day to sunday at 5:59am

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!