The power to make dead batteries appear.

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The power to eat the booty like a poor person's groceries

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the ability to cough musli in hot girls faces

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the power to be physically attracted to the same sex

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The power to get arrested

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The ability to fly 1/2 mm above ground, and only on dry land... no water walking

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the power to misspell

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The power to lower your own ego.

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The power to enlarge your penis to any size, but only you can see it.

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The power to absolutely nothing

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the power of the home depot lisp... and as an added bonus the power of how the universe works lisp

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The power to bounce a beach ball with lightly above-average accuracy

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the power to any ugly person love you.

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The power to fall asleep each time you

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The power to be asleep while in bed

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the power of anything you do makes you high and drunk

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you can summon raccoons, but all they do is piss on your shit

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The ability to give yourself any super power, but you cannot use it if it is used.

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The power to release the bogus

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The power to stop moral man from writing morals under every comment... Moral: The damn CIA cant go trough my battlestation, because I use this computer via proxy and can change my IP at will, so you literally would have to blow up the anti-bomb shelters in Micronesia and thus kill a key element of the pirate bay... And who would want that... buy your own music and movies? Download your own games? YOU THINK YOU HAVE THAT LUXURY? YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

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the power to time travel to the same time, date, and year

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the power to slightly darken the color of tree bark upon touch

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The power to give people an inexplicable hatred for you.

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The power to turn vaseline into mercury whenever you think about throwing away a perfectly good taco

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!