the power to never be late to work, but only when you're unemployed.

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The power to piss as if you were in zero gravity and leave your big piss ball floating in the bathroom.

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The power to bleed for 3-7 days for a week every month, and still live..

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Perfect recall of every episode of Teletubies

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the ability to fall asleep in your bed and wake up In one of jigsaws rooms

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The power to have a unique fart smell

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The power to complete a 100m race in exactly 100 seconds.

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The power to make remotes invisible

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The power to predict last week's lottery numbers

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Power to turn off your computer randomly. You cannot controll that power.

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Absolute Defeatability- the power to be defeated by any and all things physical and nonphysiological.

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the power to fly, but only when you are in a plane that is already flying. inflight flight

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The power to read upside down...only when you're upside down.

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The power to cook pop tarts really fast

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The power of becoming an apple tree

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The power to smile uncontrollably.

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The power to drive a car, but only once you've passed your driver's license.

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I am derpin the erp to derp the derp the erp o o o o yeah derp frika frika frika derp derp derp

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The power to die and not come back to life.

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The ability to jump

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The power to turn into a tree.

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The power of confusing the word "your" for "you're", or vice versa.

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Power to not get pissed off after seing so many of this: "Power to turn invisible when no one is looking."

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The power to yell WOW THOSE ARE SOME GIANT MELONS LADY! And have her blush and giggle, as your girlfriend grabs you and kisses you, just to make sure to "balloon lady" that you are not on the free market. Moral: And you think I act unusual here... Hah! That is simply because you lack the ability to love... the most important person in your life, the one that will take care of your beloved ones, the one that will inspire his friends... Yourself... sadly we are in a time period where being a modest emo is in... Well, I am out! Out there, being free!

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!