The power to travel time at 60 seconds a minute

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The power to get AIDS.

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The power to sexually attract whales

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The power to think of the worst superpower.

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The power to see the future but through a straw.

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Whatever dark, twisted Satanic ritualistic superpower it took to give birth to you you FUCKlNG ugly retard loser queerfag! Nero the clit collector.

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The power to breathe under water, but only when you're asleep.

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WHO'S THE DILLWEED WHO WRITES DUMB JOKES.?

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the power to be physically attracted to the same sex

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The power to pick something up and stay the same but smell bad.

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The power to slightly accelerate the growth speed of your left toenails.

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To have the power to breathe

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The power to move objects by touching them.

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the power to know when someone queefed

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The power to become invisible, but it only works when you are using it for noble and moral purposes.

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The power to shit whole balogna sandwiches.

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The involuntary power (or rather compulsion) to add "collectors edition" to everything you ever give or sell or buy. "Old bike, but in perfect condition: Collectors edition" "Hi I am selling my body "Collectors edition" "Sadly I am allergic to my German shepherd: "Collectors edition" so I have to give it away." "Hi excuse me, where do I find the "collectors edition" Milk in this store? Eh? No any kind of "collectors edition Milk is fine" Sigh... What I mean is...

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The power to lose your voice when you yell a lot.

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The power to take any object you are holding and swap it with anything within thirty feet

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The ability to shit from your mouth and burp through your ass

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The power of reading the entire terms of service and understand it in less than 10 hrs.

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The power to always choose the broken condoms without knowing

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The power to time-travel to the moment you die.

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The power to have as much fun typing these as me. Moral: Of course you possess no such "useless" superpower you sad loser!

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!