the ability to masturbate in front of your grandma

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The power to become the best player in every Moral Kombat game there is. Test your Morals... TSHHH, test your morals TSHHH MORAL KOMBAT! Mortal: FEAR THE WRATH OF MORAL KAHN!

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The true motor of bliss runs on sex and ice cream with no flavor but calling august to see if life will eat us all or not. And she is. And he is. But the dance is corrupted with none-music and machin touch down there.....

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The power of divide by zero... yourself

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the power to make your best friend's crush fall in love with you, but not your own crush.

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Eclairvoiance: The ability to forsee when you will eat your next cream-filled, chocolate coated pastry...

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The power to revive people, however it only works on people who commit genocide.

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The superpower of having no superpower.

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the power to be able to find you pointless super power post after its been posted to check on popularity

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The power to vomit a thoroughly blended mix of pickles, cheese, onions, caramel, lead paint, octopi, boiling water, vinyl, super glue, hot sulfur froth, and hand sanitizer.

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The power to automatically yell every action you do like in a Japanese fighting game, I once started doing this for fun, at the end of the day eveyone hated me, good luck. (OPEN DOOR! OPEN DOOR! CLOSE DOOR! POOL SHOT! CUMMING HARD CUMMING HARD! SONIC BOOM! BEING TOLD TO SHUT UP! BEING TOLD TO SHUT UP! TAKING A PUNCH TO THE FACE UPPERCUT!)

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the power to become friends with your least favorite teacher on facebook.

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The power to turn into shit, but not be able to change back.

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The power to raise or lower the temperature of the room you're in by 1 degree.

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The power to lay down and go unconscious for 8 hours.

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The power to nail anyone you want (legally) but no one remembers, including you

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The ability to be a jewish, homosexual, black crossdresser in Louisiana.

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the power to f**k your family all at once

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The power to make your computer run 0.1 seconds faster.

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super strength for picking up a gallon water

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The ability to dodge bullets, but only after you've been hit by the first bullet.

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The power to die at will.

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The Power to sit down only on chair made of knives.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!