the power to never orgasm.

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The power to shoot lasers out your eyes but the first time you do it it burns your eyes and you go blind

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The power to control other people's actions... only when you're alone!

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the ability to slap someone with your foot

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The power to fight inanimate objects that pose no threat to you

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The power to vomit through your anus.

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The power to find kebbler elfs

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The power to throw away and break your wine/blood glass away before yelling HAVE AT THY! At the comment below (below this one duh, you see the other brown box? Yeah that one genius) Moral: Yeah yeah, you dont get it, but its awesome because its a MISERABLE PILE OF SECRETS!

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THE POWER TO MAKE SHIT

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The ability to go to the time and place where you are going to die.

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The power to time travel only a Planck second into the future.

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The power to bend your finger...WITH YOUR MIND.

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The power to learn anything very quickly but to forget all knowledge of what you've learnt 3 seconds later.

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The power to be allergic to bullets! :)

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the ability to lick your own anus

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The power to block Chuck Norris' roundhose. it's pointless because everyone knows that nobody can block Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick.

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The power to get 100% on every test but get caught for cheating.

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The power to inhale and exhale the same air at once.

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The ability to be bulletproof after you get shot.

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the ability to make your finger nails longer by 0.1 %

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Find Waldo

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the power to die on command

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The power to stop time whenever you get stabbed in the liver

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The power to shorten your lifespan by 10 seconds.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!