The power to slow down time while you are at school

thumb_up thumb_down +45

The power to wipe ur ass without the need of toilet paper

thumb_up thumb_down +156

The power to levitate, but only after exactly 10 hours of sleep and you have to be wearing a tin foil bathing suit.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

The power to make your parents walk into your room whenever you're masturbating.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

The power that whatever song is playing is your favorite song

thumb_up thumb_down +42

The ability to reduce the value of a penny.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

the ability to smile a tooth grin while pooping on your own chest

thumb_up thumb_down +86

The power to drink 10 gallons of water only when you desperately need to piss.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

The power to make fish drown.

thumb_up thumb_down +95

The ability to see every color in the world but only when your eyes are closed.

thumb_up thumb_down +104

The ability to gain weight at will, but not lose it at will

thumb_up thumb_down +57

The power of superman while never being able to leave Krypton.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

the power to eat air when you could do something creative.

thumb_up thumb_down +112

the power to turn everything you touch into poop.

thumb_up thumb_down +162

The power to grow bigger, but never smaller.

thumb_up thumb_down +86

The power to tell when someone is using a cheese grater within 5 feet

thumb_up thumb_down +10

The ability to ask an inappropriate question

thumb_up thumb_down +6

The power to send emails via pigeon

thumb_up thumb_down +58

the power of being republican

thumb_up thumb_down +143

The power to turn red blood cells red

thumb_up thumb_down +188

The ability to taste only from your butt-hole.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

The power get everyone's attention by jerking off in public

thumb_up thumb_down +81

The ability to have a gigantic erection, but only when a gay man is fantisizing about you

thumb_up thumb_down +149

The power to thumb down Moral Man's posts. NOTE: It is required that the user of this ability possess average to above-average intellect. Seriously, bury this dickbag's posts. He's an annoying twat.

thumb_up thumb_down +107

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!