The power to speak in languages that no one around you understands.

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The power to have any pussy you want but only to magically transform it into a small bloody hairy wrinkled dick with herpes and AIDS when you touch it and there is nothing you can do about it.

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The power to go to hell

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the power to commit suicide when you are about to die

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The power to overcome any addiction by constantly doing whatever you are addicted to.

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The ability to make your heart teleport.

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The power to tolerate rap music.

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the power to understand what kate bush is singing

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The ability to grow a third nostril.

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The power to believe Jehova's witnesses.

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The power to read the Terms of Service but be unable to check the box saying that you have done so.

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The power to lick your elbow.

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The power to be the only homosexual in a house of 5 other people who are there for sex.

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The ability to replace your DNA with parmesan cheese.

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The ability to uncontrollably generate money, but only when your about to get mugged.

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The power to hear Justin Bieber singing wherever you are, no matter how far you run.

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The power to eat food.

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The ability to speak braille.

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the ability to know if a video game sucks just by looking at the name

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The power to make any woman have earth shattering totally consuming climaxes at will, but only if she's having sex with another man

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The power to turn everything one touches with one's hand into skittles, but only applying to amputees.

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The power to be 13% bullet proof.

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The power to read people's mind, but only in languages you don't understand.

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the power to listen to dead people that speak a different language than you.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!