The power to lose your sense of touch and orgasm uncontrollably for five minutes.

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The power to be a really good bowler, but only with a bowling ball that has the skull of your dead father embedded in its center.

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The power to pee glass shards, but it still hurts.

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The power to propel urine at the top speed of the animal you most recently thought of.

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The power to make sense of Donald Trump

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The power to drain people's phone battery

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The ability to breath, but only in space.

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The power to easily flirt with women but only near your mom.

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the power to get wider by eating junk food

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have the power of making chicken appear when your a vegan

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The ability to poop glue.

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The power of superman while never being able to leave Krypton.

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The power to see through windows

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The power to have useless superpowers which can only be used at wrong times

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The power to microwave bread

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the power to fire angry ticks out of your nipples

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The power to glow in the dark but only when your really sleepy.

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the power to hover 1 atom above the ground

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The power to have excellent wifi when all your devices are dead.

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The ability to regrow 1 strand of hair every 2 years.

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The power to read any language, but it will always be backwards.

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The power to determine after 1 year that something is broken when you yourself have done it deliberately broken

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The power to see into the future and past but not remember any of it.

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The "helpers" you call during emergencies when they where new and a itsy bit unorganized... misunderstandings easily showed up part 1: The Firemen: Why the hell did you call us if this place is already on fire? Call the damn Watermen THEN! The Watermen: Sorry we only receive calls and help people that are drowning, try the Firemen or something... The Cops: Crime in the city? Sorry our work is to COP OUT of stuff, Try the Police or something...

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!