the power to hurl apples at force but only when you have drunk 20 litres of water in one go

The power to shrink boobs. -Big C

thw power to not feel anything during sex unless you dont like the sex (ie rape, ugly fat pearson)

The power to resurrect Hitler at will, will only work if you are Jewish.

The power to fly while masturbating.

The power to be Chuck Norris

The power to communicate with dust bunnies.

The power to shrink your hand only when its inside a pringles container.

The power to be reading this when you can WORSHIP ME! Moral: You love me, I love me, we all win! Now, bring forth thy sacrifices, women, gold, diamonds, women, more women, yeah... And if you are a woman, you can come many many times with me...

The power to teleport massive objects one inch above your head.

The power to have no life and watch a whole tv series in a week.

The power to smell people's moods

the power to fart at the worst moments

The power to turn your navel upside down

The ability to draw a perfect circle.

the power to sing like an angel... but only if the song is "friday" or "baby"

The power to wake up every morning and have to pee

The power of omnipotence and omniscience but you work in such mysterious ways that youre both invisible and intangible and without will to do skwat. Oh wait that sounds like...

power to turn into a shark in zoo cages

The power to have a godlike super human strength but it only activates during a REM sleep cycle.

The power to survive underwater, while holding your breath.

The power to clone yourself, except all your clones become Catholic priests. Moral: "Mommy! It was HE who touched me!"

the ability to make a really long post ajsfffffhkshgdddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddfgggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggjssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssa

The power to stretch infinitely, but you cant return to your normal state.

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!