I got rhe power to always respawn in the middle of a noob tube. it's a blast...

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The power to read the future in a language you will never learn to understand. Moral: I read that "thy comment expects a billion red thumbs"... WTF does that mean?

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The ability to evolve into magickarp

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the power to read this sentence

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The power to cash cheques that are only ever made out to someone else.

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The ability to find the sharpest object in an given drawer, by having it puncture your hand. Every time.

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The power to fart slightly less deadly

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Normal handsome man by day. Moral: Man by night.

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The power to know everything, but then forget every 7 seconds

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The power to cum cucumbers if you are a man.

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the power to get a random fruit every 10 days...

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the power to randomly die at any moment

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You might not GET super power, but you can get some super bonus. Get free rides with Lyft, (only new passengers). Use Lyft official code "IAMLUCKY" to get $50 up to $200 in ride credits. Now thats like a little superpower, you get to teleport from one place to other for free with Lyft. Get some super bonus until you really ever get a super power ;-)

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The power to walk through doors, then open it.

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The ability to have 99 problems without one of them being a female

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the power to die 10 minutes after reading this comment

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The power to be better than Chuck Norris, but you have to be in a lucid sleep.

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The ability to teleport to distant locations with no way of returning.

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The ability to hear fish.

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The power to instantly make an accurate assessment on tomorrow's hangover probability well before you've consumed far more than the amount of alcohol which would guarantee it...and yet manage to forget sometimes you have this superpower.

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the powers to be a fat gassy woman

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The power to resurrect the dead but only for 1 second.

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The power to be able to see 1 second into the future

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The power is to think MEMEZ are so nonsence, Even if you ever kissed an girl.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!