- Pointless Super Powers

to be able to fly but only 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000001 millimetres of the ground and not even feel or look like your floating

the power to look like a boy and sing like a girl (bieber joke)

The power to produce up to 20 gummy bears at once through the process of budding

The power to every two months to shoot three cotton balls at no great velocity from your left hand.

You might not GET super power, but you can get some super bonus. Get free rides with Lyft, (only new passengers). Use Lyft official code "IAMLUCKY" to get $50 up to $200 in ride credits. Now thats like a little superpower, you get to teleport from one place to other for free with Lyft. Get some super bonus until you really ever get a super power ;-)

the power to take a poo everywhere but on the toilet

The ability to hear fish.

The power to speak any language except the language of your people.

the power to imagine any women naked...but only as an octogenerian

The ability to catch bullets traveling under 5 mph

The power to read minds but only when you're alone

The power to resurrect the dead but only for 1 second.

The power to tell people that you have been "gifted" with a pointless superpower.

The power is to think MEMEZ are so nonsence, Even if you ever kissed an girl.

The power to control disabled people with your mind.

the power to become phil collins, but only after peter gabrial left

The power to read a book in 2 seconds but forget everything but the title.

The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

The ability to keep a song stuck in your head overnight

The ability to to die whenever you want. RIP

The ability to teleport 0.00000000000000007 seconds in the past

The power to live,but only when you are dead

the power to have an organsim when your a boy

Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!