The power to unravel the toilet-paper towards you.

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The ability to know when men have erections

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The power to see through windows

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The power to transform any food into shit simply by eating it.

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The ability to change Celsius to Farenheit.

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The power to teleport to Northern Siberia with only a speedo on.

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The power to die when you get old

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the power to read this sentence

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Acid tears.

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The power to move 1 second into the future. Takes 1 second to work.

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The power to fail a test everytime

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The power to have amazing sexual prowess for 24 straight hours, but only on days that you have to work overtime. This is actually true.

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Astral Projection. Distance: .3mm

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----the power to hold your breath until your die-----

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the power to inhale and exhale air

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The power to open jam jar lids, however stuck they are.

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The power to cum cucumbers if you are a man.

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The power to become sick only to spread it to your enemy but you can't stop being sick until you have treatment.

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The ability to pull Bleach Flavored lighter fluid out of your ass every time you see a modern feminist or a Jacob Satorious video

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The power to make yourself forget your life

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You might not GET super power, but you can get some super bonus. Get free rides with Lyft, (only new passengers). Use Lyft official code "IAMLUCKY" to get $50 up to $200 in ride credits. Now thats like a little superpower, you get to teleport from one place to other for free with Lyft. Get some super bonus until you really ever get a super power ;-)

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The power to produce up to 20 gummy bears at once through the process of budding

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The power to every two months to shoot three cotton balls at no great velocity from your left hand.

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the power to look like a boy and sing like a girl (bieber joke)

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!