The ability to to die whenever you want. RIP

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The power to die and come back to life in the middle of a crossfire between two tanks.

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The power to have a great singing voice, but only in the shower,

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the power to run in slow motion

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The power to lick your own elbow

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Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

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the power to make faces at the blind

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The superpower to realize that if you guys thumb my former comment up, then it is no longer a useless "superpower" and would by itself contradict uh... itself.. by being useful... Moral: Hey, turning into Beiber at will is useful for banging silly young chicks at will is it not? And I will rather bang brainless women (beliebers yes I mean you, because everyone deserves some love) Disclaimer: Sexual age of consent is 16 over here, and good luck calling a whole nation for pedophiles, nope girls simply mature faster here... Fact: Above.

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The power of reading the entire terms of service and understand it in less than 10 hrs.

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The Power to clone yourself instantly, but one of you dies!

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Being able to poop your pants at will with no control over it.

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be a massive dickhead, like thomas bull

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The power to eat peas as a vegetarian

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The power to recite all of Encyclopedia Brown's cases in alphabetical order.

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The power to not being able to go use the bathroom when you have to

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The power to have incredible upper-body strength, but not have arms or legs.

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The power to know everyone's name before you meet them but you say it wrong every time

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The power to not write pointless powers.

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The power to ejaculate at command

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The power to cambiar el idioma de din kommentar at will.

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The power to turn everything you touch into cheese

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The epic power of laser pointer vision.

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The power to survive extreme temperatures, for extremely short amounts of time.

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The power to be an ugly barnacle who is so ugly that everyone dies.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!