The power to eat junk food at light speed

thumb_up thumb_down -527

The power to teleport homeless people to the sun

thumb_up thumb_down +69

The power to wake up and live through school....

thumb_up thumb_down +2

The pewer to become a human bullet magnet. Moral: "DONT WORRY PEOPLE! I SHALL SAVE YOU ALL!" (Well if you want to sacrifice yourself to save them all, then you its useful and you a douchebag)

thumb_up thumb_down -48

The power to have the biggest boner ever in the middle of a presentation.

thumb_up thumb_down -486

The ability to be a 100% accurate shooter in basketball, however u get blocked every time you shoot

thumb_up thumb_down +116

The power to cook pop tarts really fast

thumb_up thumb_down -32

The power to type anything you want the same time you think of what you want to type.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

the power to get a random fruit every 10 days...

thumb_up thumb_down +61

The ability to float sideways very slowly

thumb_up thumb_down -573

i like pie.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

The power to piss your pants each time you feel threatened.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

An ability to change birthday to February 29.

thumb_up thumb_down -95

The power to blink your eyelids in Morse Code

thumb_up thumb_down +96

The power to sit down as long as you are not in contact with anything.

thumb_up thumb_down -730

The power to unsee the unseen.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

The power to look really cool when sitting in a chair when nobody's looking at you

thumb_up thumb_down +88

the power to breath fire but only on days that don't end in Y.

thumb_up thumb_down +116

The power to waste time reading about pointless superpowers when you could be doing something productive.

thumb_up thumb_down +7,797

The power to drink an entire bottle of soy suase without dieing

thumb_up thumb_down -539

The power to fail hard at the catchphra (or whatever its called) simply because you keep answering garbage when it asks "what is the jummiest!" Moral: I work out hard dammit! I want muscles of steel! And Bananasplit contains banana (duh) which just binds fat and makes me look like a bodybuilder... (yes I did look like that and would eat garbage rather than banana, I mean most "family restaurant" foo out there is garbage) "Family restaurant" guide, because moral man loves you: Mc Donalds, Kentucky Fried Chicken, Burger King, and I really need fats and proteins to work out as hard as I do... I mean I am running on a uh.. stand still training bicycle thingie... too tired to look it up.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

The power of eletric energy in the ancient history

thumb_up thumb_down +95

The power to time travel. Backwards. To the Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +54

The power to stand still for five hours

thumb_up thumb_down +78

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!