The ability to scream and whisper at the same time.

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Uber Sensitive man, in terms of touch and emotion.

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The power to resurrect, but only in an electric chair in Texas.

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The power to torture yourself and you are also immortal but will immediately die if you are not constantly tortured in a way that is 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 times worse then you can even imagine and are so terrified of dying that you would rather be tortured for all eternity.

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The power to do something for 8 hours and still have to do it the next day.

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the power to read whenever somebody is about to make a pun but only if youve already heard that pun

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the power to do 1,000,000 pushups but you cant record it or show anyone

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The power to light things on fire with a match

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the power to run at the speed of light, but you have no protection from the air friction so you'll burn up and die.

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the power to say funny joke, but only deaf people can hear it.

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the ability to invent in the speed of light good useless super powers ideas.

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The power to absorb your hair into your body and the burp up a bottle of shampoo and you have to do this once a day or your eyes and ears and mouth and nose will liquify for a day.

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The power to die uncontrollably and never come back or do anything else.

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The power to speak braille.

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The power to step only on the surface of lego bricks, no other surface.

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The power to stop reading this. Or the power to live forever but only if you never ate BACON !

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The ability to get a headache when you do or say something stupid.

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Retractable Teeth

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The power not to be Chuck Norris

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The ability to transform yourself into a Turkey but only with a brain larger than the head of a turkey. Note: People will become happy if they eat you for christmas.

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The ability to die on command.

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The power to see light as it appears on an object.

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The power to become retarded but your so stupid you forget how to turn it off

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the power uncontrollably explode expensive cars

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!