the power to eat your cereal and milk with a knife

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The power to get off the internet and do something productive

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The power to turn cake into poop.

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The power to look at Chuck Norris. I dare you to try.

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The power to flip people off with your middle toes.

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the ability to shoot a little steam cloud from your penis every time you finish peeing

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The power to hypnotize chickens

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THE SUPER FRIENDS HEROES LEAGUE OF SUPER HEROES OF LESSER USEFUL HEROES! KNIGHT FARTSALOT!: Fear my methane! You and me in one small room for 3 days and you will faint for sure! Uncle Diabeetush: Save their parents Captain! Ill take care of their children! Captain Novolin: I have great sugar level control! Help me! Evil Mistress Sugarpie is too sweet! Runald MagnifiCient Donalds: HAMBARGAR HAMBARGAR HAMBARGAR WOOOOO! I keep American people from starvation! Remember kids less than 250 pounds counts as starvation! And their LEADER... MORAL MAN!: The hell am I introducing myself here for? Damn you Subconscious! How can you expect people to understand my genius of putting myself here! They are morons! Oh... hi everybody.. wazzup?

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The ability to turn into an apple--but not be able to turn back.

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The power to see through doors once they are opened.

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The ability to digest three types of earth elementals

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The power to die after life has left you old and decrepit.

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To be waterproof but only when your not wet

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the power to quickly re-wrap christmas presents

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The power to fly only when you're already in an airplane.

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The power to guess a multiple choice answer correctly some of the time.

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The power to chew on chicken heads without breaking your teeth.

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The power to defecate grass, but only in hot air balloons.

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The power to levitate 3cm off the ground when no one is watching

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The ability to use the "wait" function from skyrim/fallout in real life.

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The power to mentally control houseflies.

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The ability to walk with the exact slight misdirection of shoping trolleys

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Super-slowness

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the power to insta-kill anyone as long as their dead

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!