The power to gain 50 dollars every daybut have to pay 75 back every 12 hours.

The power to teleport the remote control to you from across the room twithout getting up, but only if your TV is broken.

The power to be invincible to every thing but fire water tornadoes bullets explosions guns knifed blades swords grenades sticks pointy objects disease infections sicknesses flu illness natural disasters accidents cars busses planes vehicles trucks lightning electricity meteors bombs rockets drugs addiction peer pressure starvation tiredness torture pain monkeys any sort of animal heat radio active waves radiation humans air pollution baseball bats food poisoning and insects.

The power to lose your hearing and eyesight/

The power to make your parents walk into your room whenever you're masturbating.

The ability to sweat caramel

the power to randomly sprout a paper clip once a month

The power to go part way through walls

The ability to know what time it is, but only when you have a watch on.

The power to walk on water for 1 second and then fall in

The power to communicate with your own toenail clippings.

The ability to come up with the idea for a new version of Windows.

to create balloons out of anywhere on your body, and twist them into whatever you look at.

The power to do anything within your limits.

Knowing whether or not there is an afterlife

The power to be able to write the worlds best book or movie script but if anyone reads it, it will combust into flames.

The power to: tell your women make a sandwich!

The helpers... early days part 3!: Shitfixer: What color is your poo? Hmm.. you should eat more vegetables.., You need someone to fix your toilet? Try calling Batman... Batman: Yes? Are you retarded? Dense or something? Of course I repair toilets and install showers! I am the goddamn Batman! The Pope: The less people use condoms, the more children we can bang! I really hope nobody finds out our secret reason for banning condoms or stuff... AMEN! Moral Man: People are gonna try crush me for the last one, they gotta find me first though... and I kill and eat Zealots (and pussy) for breakfast... and its nearly breakfast so please come by.. only 100 at the time though, I have limits too you know... although some still think I am perfect... sigh...

Balls.

The Power to have a bowel movement.

Super Stength Backlash: Power of an incredibly powerful punch, but everytime you strike the force is reflected back onto you.

The power to turn anything you touch into old.

The power to shoot milk through your eyes

the power to be incredibly charming and witty but only around old people and little children.

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!