the power to steal 4 avocados in july at a supermarket at 9:37 am in your underpants without arms while a cop laughs at how stupid you look. plus while you do that a cute marshmallow comes and rapes your children.

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The power to change the channel with your mind, but only to the Weather Network.

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The power of having the highest rated comment

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The power to get a boner any time you want

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The power to control which nut your sperm comes from.

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The power to transform you in something randomly

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The power to eat anything in a minute.

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The ability to make everything on you invisible, exept yourself

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th eability to have sex with anyone in the world but have to have sex with rosie o'donnell first

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The power to make me a sandwich without first being instructed.

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the ability to fly under water unless your wet

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The ability to swim on dry land only when submerged in dry water.

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To stab Djones

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The power to win a gold medal in the special Olympics... you are perfectly healthy

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The power to automatically register soda caps online, but only if it's Diet.

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The power to have the power to have the power to have the power to have the power to have the power to have the power to have the power to say that you have got the power to have the power of power stuff.

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The power to fap 10x as fast as an elephant.

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the power to be tall only if your Yao Ming

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The power to turn pens into pencils, but not pencils into pens.

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the ability to "speak in tongues"...

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The power to get the bullet every time you play russian roulette

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The ability to leap off buildings with a single bound.

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the power to talk to animals but only when it means stealing your ice cream

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The power to run past the speed of sound... Backwards

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!