The power to die but once

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The ability to know everything about knowing nothing.

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The power to post on Facebook but only with an account.

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Laser pointer vision.

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The power to control which nut your sperm comes from.

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The power to taste the colors of M&M's.

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The power to time travel to the present moment

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The power of Pinesol baby

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The power to walk after about 6 months of age.

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The ability to fall unconscious at will.

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the power to poop every 5 minutes

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To stab Djones

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The ability to shapeshift into any items but only pedophiles can use it

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the power to steal 4 avocados in july at a supermarket at 9:37 am in your underpants without arms while a cop laughs at how stupid you look. plus while you do that a cute marshmallow comes and rapes your children.

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The ability to laugh like tickle me elmo

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The power to hear a person's thoughts, but only when they're on the toilet.

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Invisible handwriting.

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The power of exploding when you think.

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the power to fly but only on a plane

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The power to instantly waste all your money on cheap mango chutney at will.

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the power to die when you breath oxygen

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the ability to throw a midget further than any mortal man

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the power to ejaculate so hard it rips a hole right through anythin thats within 5 meters of you

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the ability to "speak in tongues"...

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!