ur mother so ugly she gave the devil a heart attack

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The power to fly into the sun.

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the power to allow diet coke to make you fat

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The power to give ANY girl the best orgasm she will ever have, but only when in Vatnajökulsþjóðgarður, Iceland. Between the local time of 3am-3:15am.

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the power to turn everything you touch into poop.

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The power to grow boobs

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The power to turn on the TV with the remote

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To stab Djones

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The power to only be able to prepare foods that require a toaster in a bathtub.

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The ability to be invisible whenever you take a slefie

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The power to fly but only when touching the ground

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Retractable teeth

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The power to cut onion without crying.

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The power to destroy any electronic device seconds after touching itoesajfaokpnhgåpesajfjåaeafjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrroooooooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

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The power to walk after gettin kicked in the nuts

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LIME

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The awe-inspiring power of being able to throw up at will while yelling IMMA FIRIN' ME LAZOR.

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The power to have sex with jessica alba Only if you have Sex with Rosie O'Donnell with a ten inch penis

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The power to time travel to the present moment

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The power to know which came first - The chicken or the egg.

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The power of having the highest rated comment

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The power to instantly waste all your money on cheap mango chutney at will.

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The ability to fly while on a plane. You can only do this at the same altitude and speed of the plane.

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the power to change the day to sunday at 5:59am

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!