The ability to sit on air, provided you are in space.

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The power to hear a person's thoughts, but only when they're on the toilet.

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done something sexual with some type of food?

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The power to time-travel to the moment you die.

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the power to die when you breath oxygen

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The ability to get aids and stay a virgin.

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The power to always choose the broken condoms without knowing

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The ability to hear a tree falling in the woods when there is nobody there to hear it.

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the power to go slower than a snail :l

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the power to be a shitstick on a stick with a shitstick on a shit with a shitstick

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Turn gold into lead.

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The power to die when you die

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The power to instantly waste all your money on cheap mango chutney at will.

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The power to be a human for 1 second once a month.

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the ability to throw a midget further than any mortal man

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The power to automatically register soda caps online, but only if it's Diet.

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the power to turn O2 into CO2

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The power to glow... in the dark...

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The power to magically summon a knife at a gunfight. Moral: "A knife in a gunfight is pretty good when the guns run out of ammo"

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The power of heat vision* *Only for cooking.

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The power to speak to unicorns, even though they don't exist

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The power to get a boner any time you want

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the ability to own a computer without a power cord

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the ability to "speak in tongues"...

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!