The power to save 16% or more on your auto insurance

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The power to move the remote from the coffee table, where it is sitting 2 feet out of reach, into your hands

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My charms is my superpower, but damn I cant shut up after spending some quality time with the ladies! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! MY BODY WAS NOT READY! I feel like yelling out my real name, but you know, if you know me (I am easily recognizable) the girls I spend time with would feel like I am bragging about them, and I am not, I am simply celebrating my conquest, you see, you came, you saw... BUT I CONQUERED! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT Moral: Feel free to thumb this down, my superpowers need to be contained, or else I will beep my way to an early grave! Girls, mwah... and you know, just dodge the kiss if you cant handle love personified, they arent homing nor anything... Should I ask my doctor if she has any medications that will help me wire down after uh... Multiple female company? HAHAHAHAAAAAAH!... The thought made me kinda sad, im better, now just to prove to my company here that I got balls of steel, I am gonna post this and let you judge me all you want! BECAUSE YOU CANT HAVE EM!

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The ability to turn chips back into potatoes

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the ability to not get pregnant when you get raped

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The power to sleep through a dream.

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The power to identify enemies by the color of their skin.

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The power to cook bad meals.

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The power to beat any video game after you've beaten it

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The power to slow down time while you are at school

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The power to be quite good at checkers.

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The power to see the present.

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The ability to print random memes on their tongue, but it has to be one that everyone in the room has seen before.

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the ability to say "you're killing me", without irony...to my murderer

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the power to breathe but only if there's oxygen present

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The power to drink poison and survive 6 hours longer than any other person

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The power to be able to not smell fart

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the power to cheat your right hand with your left hand

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The power to fly at the speed of sound, but only at ground level with your eyes closed.

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The power to fall from any height and stop in midair right before you hit the ground, then continue falling with 100x the velocity from before you stopped.

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The power of unlimited strength...but you have regular bone density

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The ability to cure anyone of AIDS for 37 seconds

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the ability to turn a banana into an apple at will, but only for a few seconds.

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The ability to cut oneself on objects that shouldn't, in any respect, be sharp.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!