super strength for picking up a gallon water

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the ability to dice a watermelon by looking at it but when you eat any of the diced watermelon a magic watermelon grows in your stomach and you look fat

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The ability to fly, but only as high as you are tall.

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The power to hide in 'shit brix' pictures but not be black

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the ability of sitting on newly painted benches without getting paint on u, only works if you are naked

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The power to get the ketchup bottle open.

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The power to instantly ginger-fy random strangers on the other side of the world.

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The power to summon Pedobear and only if you are under 10.

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The ability to hold your breath forever, but only in an oxygen-rich environment.

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the power to make a pussy taste like a pizza pussy flavored

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The power to type stupid superpowers when you sleepwalk.

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The power to blink slightly less often.

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the ability to smoke crack but only infront of a cop

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The power to enjoy a raw oyster and not gag.

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The ability to travel through time at a rate of one second per second.

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The power to turn any traffic light and crosswalk sign from red to green but only when your eyes are closed.

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The ability to fall asleep before the end of the movie

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The power to cure a ham

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the power the convince people if they agree

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The power to run in lightspeed when you sit on a wheelchair.

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the ability to shoot a little steam cloud from your penis every time you finish peeing

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The power to read dead people's minds

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The power to have useless superpowers which can only be used at wrong times

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The power to perform the Kali Ma sacrificial ritual on yourself.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!