The power to fly... but you are a paralytic

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Imortality.

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The power to have any power on this site.

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The ability to produce infinite cat flavored toast made from poop out of your mouth, only while in public with 100 people that would stare at you.

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The power to psychically give politicians half baked excuses for failed and immoral decisions.

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the ability to hear yourself think

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the power to fail at life

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The power to smile uncontrollably.

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the ability to steal oxygen

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The power to eat anything you like and still be fat.

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The ability to procrastinate when you have absolutely no work to do

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the power to eat sharp objects but you have to poop it whole

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the power to shrink to 1 inch but only in a crowded street and you cant look up girls dresses,

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The power to see in only one random color everyday.

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The power throw up hockey pucks every few minutes.

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The AWESOME Power To See With Your Eyes Open

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The ability to predict something after it's already happened.

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The power to be alive, many hours before you die

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The power to run slightly faster than Usain bolt

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The power to point at anything you want as long as you can see it.

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the ability to travel forward in time at the speed of regular time

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The power to have sex with yourself.

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The power to invent a secret language that everyone understand

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~The ability to understand Bob Dylan...~

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!