The power to turn into a pineapple that can teleport into a persons stomach while they're eating spaghetti with meatballs that arent meatball but instead tofuballs that are flavoured as battery acid that have been poisned with pikachu pee that pikachu drank from a pond with whale corpses that died because of a pine apple that was in a persons stomach while they're eating spaghetti with meatballs that arent meatball but instead tofuballs that are flavoured as battery acid that have been poisned with pikachu pee that pikachu drank from a pond with whale corpses that died.

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The ability to go blind every time you open your eyes

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the power to turn into a tree

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Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

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The power to appear dancing like a girl at the background of every Justin Bieber "music" "video"

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The power to levitate, but only after exactly 10 hours of sleep and you have to be wearing a tin foil bathing suit.

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The ability to dehydrate yourself at will.

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the power to like justin beiber

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The super power to shine in daylight

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the power to make faces at the blind

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The power of reading the entire terms of service and understand it in less than 10 hrs.

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be a massive dickhead, like thomas bull

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The power to have sex with anyone you want in the world, but only after you die.

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The ability to grow your hair at an ever so slightly extended rate!

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The power to drink 10 gallons of water only when you desperately need to piss.

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The power to turn anything into Oreos.

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The power to turn everything one touches with one's hand into skittles, but only applying to amputees.

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To have the power to give yourself a disease

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The power to think of a perfectly good comeback three days later.

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The power to be invisible only when you're not in anybody's line of sight.

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The involuntary power (or rather compulsion) to add "collectors edition" to everything you ever give or sell or buy. "Old bike, but in perfect condition: Collectors edition" "Hi I am selling my body "Collectors edition" "Sadly I am allergic to my German shepherd: "Collectors edition" so I have to give it away." "Hi excuse me, where do I find the "collectors edition" Milk in this store? Eh? No any kind of "collectors edition Milk is fine" Sigh... What I mean is...

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The power to like the fact that someone liked my status.

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The power to find any film directed by Uwe Boll entertaining.

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The power to create a vaporization beam that removes one atom per second.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!