The power to keep up with the kardashians

thumb_up thumb_down +60

the power to ejaculate 69% of what you normally do

thumb_up thumb_down +58

The power to make Thursday come before Friday and after Wednesday.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

The ability to see women naked, but only if they weigh 400 pounds or more.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

power to transform into a dick with legs

thumb_up thumb_down +52

The power to control the weather, but only in space

thumb_up thumb_down +50

The power to turn into a pineapple that can teleport into a persons stomach while they're eating spaghetti with meatballs that arent meatball but instead tofuballs that are flavoured as battery acid that have been poisned with pikachu pee that pikachu drank from a pond with whale corpses that died because of a pine apple that was in a persons stomach while they're eating spaghetti with meatballs that arent meatball but instead tofuballs that are flavoured as battery acid that have been poisned with pikachu pee that pikachu drank from a pond with whale corpses that died.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

The power to have night vision when there's daylight.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

The ability to go blind every time you open your eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +44

the power to turn into a tree

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

thumb_up thumb_down +38

The power to appear dancing like a girl at the background of every Justin Bieber "music" "video"

thumb_up thumb_down +36

The power to levitate, but only after exactly 10 hours of sleep and you have to be wearing a tin foil bathing suit.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

The ability to dehydrate yourself at will.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

the power to like justin beiber

thumb_up thumb_down +30

The super power to shine in daylight

thumb_up thumb_down +26

the power to make faces at the blind

thumb_up thumb_down +26

The power of reading the entire terms of service and understand it in less than 10 hrs.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

the ability to do 3 backflips in a row when no one is looking

thumb_up thumb_down

The power to have sex with anyone you want in the world, but only after you die.

thumb_up thumb_down

be a massive dickhead, like thomas bull

thumb_up thumb_down

The ability to grow your hair at an ever so slightly extended rate!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

The power to turn anything into Oreos.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

The power to drink 10 gallons of water only when you desperately need to piss.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!