the power to have 20/20 vision only when wearing aviators

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De poverr too tipe relly shiiti annd stil bee undrstod bai rettadad peepols unly.

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The power to be asleep while in bed

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The power to shoot webs, but only out of your ass

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The power to produce fish eggs from your left eye

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The power to find spare change in the sofa

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To have the ability to piss off the police

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The power to smell inside of your own butt.

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the power to time travel to the same time, date, and year

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The power to become tired at will but never sleep.

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The power to drink as much tequila as you want without dying.

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The power to have perfect vision, but only in pitch black darkness

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The ability to laugh one's ass off.

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The power to fly in tornadoes

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The ability to turn into a melting crayon for $20

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The power to know the answer to every question you're asked, but forgetting it instantly.

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The Power to fart extremely loudly every time your in a crowd.

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The power to surround yourself in fire, but only when you're underwater.

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The power to read the minds of sandwhiches.

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The power to summon fire with the use of a match

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the power to be immortal, but only temporally

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Most of Gods powers part 2: Let us pretend that God really created everything... including sin right? God: Jebus, I want you to go down to earth and receive torture of legendary proportions, and die. Jebus: Why? God: To remove sin... Jebus: Uh... cant you just remove it? God replies either: 1. Yeah but ill be more fun this way, ill have you killed just to show you are not mortal anyways lol troll! 2. No, Sin is more powerful than me, so you better go die to not really die, relax... 3. Son, my ways are mysterious, "thunderstorm scares Jebus to go down) Moral disclaimer: God can be anyone`s God, and Jebus is not to be confused with the completely different Jesus. I mean every God out there and Jebus is simply a name I put instead of whoever prophet your religion has, so I really insulted everyone religious. Moral: (the other was a disclaimer) Religion is written by men... drunk men... now go eat your bread and drink your wine... and you shall become like Jebus... tortured and crucified? To show the world you are immortal? Side effects: Alcholism and all that follows, including a quicker death... to prove your immortality? (Hypnosis is powerful shit, especially when you are drunk, take it from a experienced hypnotist)

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Absolute Defeatability- the power to be defeated by any and all things physical and nonphysiological.

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The ability to simultaneously implode and explode.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!