The power to die on command.

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The power to block your own powers

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The power to transform your foreskin into rusty iron.

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The power to divide by 0

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The power to scratch your head 1% faster than usual, if it doesn't itch.

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the power to fly, but only at the speed of light you, for less than 1 second, but you must land at the exact same spot you started and your mind cannot comprehend anything any differently than a normal human

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The power to ejaculate at command

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The power to make spinach taste like brussel sprouts

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The power to sweat profusely on cold days.

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The power to see in black and white at will.

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The power to know if someone in China eats Rice

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The ability to eat your self up when out of food.

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The ability to shed one's skin like a snake.

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Power to come up with an idea you have recently heard of.

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The power to jerk off with no hands.

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The power to fly for 2 seconds when jumping

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the power of milking a cow aslong it is a horse that you are milking. the power to ride a bull for 0.55 nanoseconds. the power to kill 1 bacteria every 20 min. the power to spread herpes without having symptoms. the power of sharing awkward details of your bowel movements to your family at dinner. the power to lift a small cup of water. the power of falling of your face whilst knowing it will happen 20sec before. the power of inhibiting passage on the curb. the power to cause massive traffic jams without owning a car. the power of listening but not understanding. the power of understanding all languages but the one that is being spoken to you at the time.

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The power to move at the speed of ripeness. Moral: Ripeness is actually slightly slower than time, true fact.

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The power to walk on very very shallow water (

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The power to break bones at will.

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The power to fly at 0.00000000000000001mm off of the ground at a speed of 1 mile per hour whenever you desperately need the toilet.

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The power to permanently shorten your own penis

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the power to hold your breath 0.01 seconds longer than the average human

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the power to make your nipples dissappear

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!