The power to instantly make an accurate assessment on tomorrow's hangover probability well before you've consumed far more than the amount of alcohol which would guarantee it...and yet manage to forget sometimes you have this superpower.

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The power to flush toilets with your mind

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power to drop the soap in the jail shower room

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The power to crap without pissing.

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the power to ryme words with orange, purple, and silver but only after eating your own poo and while singing a beyonce song

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the power to sleep while standing!

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The power to keep up with the kardashians

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The power to make Thursday come before Friday and after Wednesday.

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the power to ejaculate 69% of what you normally do

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The ability to see women naked, but only if they weigh 400 pounds or more.

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power to transform into a dick with legs

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The power to control the weather, but only in space

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The power to have a great singing voice, but only in the shower,

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The ability to go blind every time you open your eyes

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The power to turn into a pineapple that can teleport into a persons stomach while they're eating spaghetti with meatballs that arent meatball but instead tofuballs that are flavoured as battery acid that have been poisned with pikachu pee that pikachu drank from a pond with whale corpses that died because of a pine apple that was in a persons stomach while they're eating spaghetti with meatballs that arent meatball but instead tofuballs that are flavoured as battery acid that have been poisned with pikachu pee that pikachu drank from a pond with whale corpses that died.

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the power to turn into a tree

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Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

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The power to appear dancing like a girl at the background of every Justin Bieber "music" "video"

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The power to levitate, but only after exactly 10 hours of sleep and you have to be wearing a tin foil bathing suit.

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The ability to dehydrate yourself at will.

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the power to like justin beiber

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The super power to shine in daylight

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the power to make faces at the blind

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The power of reading the entire terms of service and understand it in less than 10 hrs.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!