the power to ejaculate 69% of what you normally do

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The power to bounce a beach ball with lightly above-average accuracy

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the power of the home depot lisp... and as an added bonus the power of how the universe works lisp

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Have god like powers but only on 30 of february

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The power to have intense orgasms, but only if you choke yourself.

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The ability to fart extremely loudly every time you blink - but only when having dinnerwith your girlfriends parents for the first time.

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The power to smell anything you look at, but you can't turn it off.

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The power to eat food a little faster. So when you are done you have to just stay there for 5 more minutes for everybody to finish

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The power to metabolize any radioactive material in your body into arsenic.

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The ability to know when, and which elevator door will open first.

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The power to have all pointless superpowers, but only on the 12th and or 13th on january on a year that isn't 2015 or lower, but you have to be wearing nothing but purple underwear and a skanky hat.

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The power to get a cold in the wintertime.

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The ability to turn your fingers into angry bears without you being able to control them

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The power to turn everything you touched into gold. A-hem. Midas, you listening?

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The power to fall asleep each time you

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the power to open doors that are unlocked

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The power drown in water

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the power to hate Raymond, and like Chris.

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The power to punch with the force of hulk ... But Die instintly

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The power to surround yourself in fire, but only when you're underwater.

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the power to defecate while standing up...

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The power to see through glass

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The ability to hear people's thoughts after they've already said them.

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The power to phase through walls whenever there is a door nearby leading to the next room

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!