The power to summon fire with the use of a match

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The power to die on the spot and not revive

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The power to predict the present

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The power to create skype chats with 50 people and subsequently annoy all of them with 200+ messages per second. unfortunately neither you nor anybody can block, silence or leave the chat

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To never remember what the word if means

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the power to melt your bones

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The power to lick your own elbow

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The ability to pee while standing up for men

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Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

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The power to cry sulfuric acid.

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The power to never come into existence

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The power to understand that if you type or read at this section, then it is probably because it means something to you... Moral: That is almost a superpower... I mean wow pointless makes a point which is pointless, and a pointless point with a point is... anyway I just divided by infinite loop. Cant say that is far away from zero which by itself is basically a circle... Damn im good! (just for that final line im gonna get thumbed down, its worth it though.

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to not blink for 5 seconds

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The power to never have fun...never.

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the ability to do 3 backflips in a row when no one is looking

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The power to have sex with anyone you want in the world, but only after you die.

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Brazilian waxing via telepathy.

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THE POWER TO TYPE IN ALL CAPS WITHOUT PRESSING THE BUTTON

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The power to believe Jehova's witnesses.

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The power to predict how an event could have played out, but only after the event has already happened.

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the power to sit down BUT you have to sit down for ever

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The ability to produce a nickle each time you smack you`re face on any hard surface so hard you break at least 6 bones.

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The power of reading a book unless it has 3 or more pages.

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The power to be invisible only when you're not in anybody's line of sight.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!