The power to live in lava, but only when your cold

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The power to shoot glue from your penis

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The power of learning

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The power to know when to hold them, but not know when to fold them.

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Reversed telepathy, everyone can hear your thoughts.

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The power to turn a light on with your mind, but only if the light is already on

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The power to exaggerate everything, a power a billion, trillion overly trabillion times more powerful than anything, like 3000000 Chuck Norrises, except they are all weak in comparison to this power.

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The superpower to get your comment in the tops because you mistyped "the pewer to type backwards" backwards. Its a funny story actually, you people liked it so much that it skyrocketed past the correctly spelled ones and turned out top.. 40 or something? I am being modest here... just go into the popular sections and take a look. I would have told you it was me who wrote that super pewer but you would not really believe me would you? By the way thanks, it made me laugh, and I hope that is the same reason you thumbed it up, you people are awesome! Moral: It was me. (I mistyped the word mistyped itself which is grammatically incorrect by itself, now beam me up Scotty!)

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The power to turn into an exploding pink chair.

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The power to be caught sniffing your sisters panties and get punished by having her crotch forced up and down yours while your mother licks your balls.

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The power to to type Pointless Super Powers

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the power to fail at everything you do

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The power to instantly make an accurate assessment on tomorrow's hangover probability well before you've consumed far more than the amount of alcohol which would guarantee it...and yet manage to forget sometimes you have this superpower.

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the power to never be able to draw a straight line with a ruler

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The power to crap without pissing.

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the power to get a massive headache whenever you look at toast

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The power to turn any object into food

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The power to be gay on command.

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The power to be invulnerable while sleeping

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The ability to give yourself a stroke just using your mind.

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The power to change your urine to any color

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The power to only be obesely fat.

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The power to summon fire with the use of a match

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The power to make Thursday come before Friday and after Wednesday.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!