the power to fail at everything you do

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The power to write pointless superpowers

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The power to touch your toes

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the power to break the nib of a pencil so that its pointless

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The "helpers" you call during emergencies when they where new and a itsy bit unorganized... misunderstandings easily showed up part 1: The Firemen: Why the hell did you call us if this place is already on fire? Call the damn Watermen THEN! The Watermen: Sorry we only receive calls and help people that are drowning, try the Firemen or something... The Cops: Crime in the city? Sorry our work is to COP OUT of stuff, Try the Police or something...

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The power to shrink your private parts.

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The power to become attractive to women. but only when your with elderly people and Sarah Palin.

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The power to knock yourself unconscious

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the power to predict Justin Beiber's next album

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the power to time travel to the present

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The power to beat up anyone but only if u sneeze first

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The power to start typing a sentance and then start writing another way to save on your car insurance is to take the The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start to write a book about a magic trick that reveals cards

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the ability to get the chills when someone close to you has an erection.

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An extra set of eyes...in your scrotum

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The power to create mysterious stains on your clothes.

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The power to see your reflection with The Mirror

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The power to make anything money related to disappear.

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the ability to stop time on your watch, wall clocks, and everything that runs on battery.

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the power to fall at 9.9m per second.

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power to transform into a dick with legs

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The power to die on the spot and not revive

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the power to know when someone queefed

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The power to instantaneously fall asleep but only when tomorrow is a day off.

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The power to transform into a paralysed turtle with half its shell missing

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!