Shoppers today in the mattress department we just started a great promotion.

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THE SUPER FRIENDS HEROES LEAGUE OF SUPER HEROES OF LESSER USEFUL HEROES! KNIGHT FARTSALOT!: Fear my methane! You and me in one small room for 3 days and you will faint for sure! Uncle Diabeetush: Save their parents Captain! Ill take care of their children! Captain Novolin: I have great sugar level control! Help me! Evil Mistress Sugarpie is too sweet! Runald MagnifiCient Donalds: HAMBARGAR HAMBARGAR HAMBARGAR WOOOOO! I keep American people from starvation! Remember kids less than 250 pounds counts as starvation! And their LEADER... MORAL MAN!: The hell am I introducing myself here for? Damn you Subconscious! How can you expect people to understand my genius of putting myself here! They are morons! Oh... hi everybody.. wazzup?

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The ability to quit smoking by giving yourself lung, heart, and throat cancer, coupled with enphysema.

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The power to change the color of your arm hair.

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The ability to transform yourself into a Turkey but only with a brain larger than the head of a turkey. Note: People will become happy if they eat you for christmas.

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The power to have incredible upper-body strength, but not have arms or legs.

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The power to moves in slow motion.

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The power to generate electricity, unfortunately, you're not resistant to it.

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the power to be blind, but only if you're blind

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The power to speak in only anime openings

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The power of being invincible, except when a life-threatening situation develops.

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being able to change shape whist flying "It's a bird!, no it's a plane , It's a flying Sammich!?!

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The power to urinate in any color- even rainbow color!

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The power to poo without wiping.

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The power to regulate your body temperature at about 98 degrees at all times.

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The power to negate all powers including your own.

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the power to summon a pen, once

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the power to eat anything edible but not if it's edible.

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The ability to not drop anything ...when you're not holding anything

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The power to enhance your enemy's strength

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yo mama

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The power to only be able to eat poop

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The power to see water one meter behind you.

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That F-ucking ass hole that keeps typing morals all the time, he is F`n annoying! Moral: You thought I was a hater eh? Hahaha got you there ;) And if that is not the most pointless pointlessity in the world, then... I give shit about thumbs ups really, they just discovered that I have an bad allergy to dust, and thus I have been unable to work out for TWO YEARS! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! Me so happy, me love you long time. That is what women usually say to me, instead that they change the happy with horny... and replace you with someone else`s name. Self Irony... such a delight... and maybe I am lying... who knows... who wants to know? Nobody? :( sob... excellent! :D Damn CATCHPHRA! I SWEAR I USED TO HAVE A KITTEN THAT WAS TWICE THE SIZE OF TEXAS!

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!