- Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!

The power to open jam jar lids, however stuck they are.

The power to convince two people I am not taking sides while simultaneously taking both sides.

The power to change your position whenever you want. (I don't mean teleport I mean you can lay down while sitting or stand up while laying down)

The power to think oppositely

The power to defeat Chuck Norris but only if you can reach the speed of light

the power to fly, but only when you poop

the power to slightly darken the color of tree bark upon touch

The power to summon a spray of bullets going everywhere in the room, and bullet-vulnerability.

The ability to invent a new language that no one else will ever learn.

The power to see water one meter behind you.

The power to find anything on google. EXCEPT PORN.

The power to be caught sniffing your sisters panties and get punished by having her crotch forced up and down yours while your mother licks your balls.

the ability to be a super genius but can't speak or write

The power of fork-throwing. This includes large pie servers, spoons, and basically any other utensils that are not knives.

The power to teleport yourself into space without a spacesuit on

The power to eat food a little faster. So when you are done you have to just stay there for 5 more minutes for everybody to finish

Invisibility, when no one is looking.

The power to have everything taste like rubbing alcohol

The power to gain 400 pounds in 400 seconds.

The ability to laugh one's ass off.

The power to run like Nicolas Cage.

The power to turn everything you touched into gold. A-hem. Midas, you listening?

The power to give this suggestion a thubs up rating.

The ability to shoot a banana from your eyebrow every time you are riding on a unicycle.

Pointless Super Powers