The ability to have telekinesis on February the 30th

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the power to jizz money

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The power to smell people's moods

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Harnessing Homoeopathic wisdom.

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The power to walk on very very shallow water (

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The ability to pirate every song you want without getting caught. However, they can only be Justin Bieber songs

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The power to play a snippet of Darude-Sandstorm whenever you inhale or exhale.

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the power to hold your breath 0.01 seconds longer than the average human

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The epic power of laser pointer vision.

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The power to type any password only if some one tells you the password first.

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the superpower of making pointless and lame jokes for which no human laughs (except crazy ones and apes)

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The power to see through walls, but not through air.

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The power to make YouTube subscribers disappear.

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The power to be stupid reading this.

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the ability to make a really long post ajsfffffhkshgdddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddfgggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggjssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssa

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the power to slightly darken the color of tree bark upon touch

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The power to finish right before you start (If you know what I mean)

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The power to telepathically open umbrellas, only open and only umbrellas.

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The power to shrink your private parts.

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the power to get a massive headache whenever you look at toast

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The power to get a cold in the wintertime.

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The power to be special just like everyone else.

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The ability to control Do-Do Birds

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To have the ability to piss off the police

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!