The epic power of laser pointer vision.

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The power to stare at deckchairs without blinking

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The power to bingewatch an entire season of a TV show in only five minutes, only to not remember any of it and have to watch it all again through normal means.

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The power to read your own mind

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The power of having a short attention sp-- Ooh shiny!

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The ability to stop only ONE bullet and ONE bullet only

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The power to be better than Chuck Norris, but you have to be in a lucid sleep.

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The power to make Q-Tips rain from the sky every month

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That F-ucking ass hole that keeps typing morals all the time, he is F`n annoying! Moral: You thought I was a hater eh? Hahaha got you there ;) And if that is not the most pointless pointlessity in the world, then... I give shit about thumbs ups really, they just discovered that I have an bad allergy to dust, and thus I have been unable to work out for TWO YEARS! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! Me so happy, me love you long time. That is what women usually say to me, instead that they change the happy with horny... and replace you with someone else`s name. Self Irony... such a delight... and maybe I am lying... who knows... who wants to know? Nobody? :( sob... excellent! :D Damn CATCHPHRA! I SWEAR I USED TO HAVE A KITTEN THAT WAS TWICE THE SIZE OF TEXAS!

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The ability to not drop anything ...when you're not holding anything

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yo mama

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The power to have everything taste like rubbing alcohol

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The power to fly but only in your room

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The power to bleed anally at will

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The power to summon a spray of bullets going everywhere in the room, and bullet-vulnerability.

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The power to make clean socks dirty.

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Reversed telepathy, everyone can hear your thoughts.

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The ability to smell colors

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The ability to type with your penis on your smart phone during a video chat.

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The power to telepathically fold paper.

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The ability to produce snot twenty times faster than normal.

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The power to be light and stand against darkness. Moral: FU Destiny!

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The power to have super hearing but only works when you are dead.

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The ability to shed one's skin like a snake.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!